Good grief, Twilight just won’t stop giving.

More news today– while Stephanie Meyers scratches her head over Deseret Book pulling her Twilight books off store shelves*, she’s responding to the news of David Slade being chosen as director for Twilight: Eclipse.

“I am thrilled that David Slade will be directing ECLIPSE. He’s a visionary filmmaker who has so much to offer this franchise. From the beginning, we’ve been blessed with wonderful directorial talent for the Twilight Saga, and I’m so happy that ECLIPSE will be carrying on with that tradition.”

As opposed to:

“I am kind of pissed David Slade will be directing ECLIPSE. He’s a visionary filmmaker who has so much to offer this franchise, but hopefully, it’s more than he offered up for 30 DAYS OF NIGHT, because that movie sucked. From the beginning, we’ve been blessed with decent directorial talent, even though Catherine Hardwick was bat-turd crazy on set and the DVD and made a movie on a forced shoe-string budget… and I’m kind of blah that ECLIPSE will be carrying on with that tradition.”

David Slade, no doubt, is a talented director in the visuals department. Both Hard Candy (I.E.- the cinematic equivalent of garlic and holy water for pedophiles) and 30 Days of Night were aesthetically beautiful, but some of the directorial choices (screeching, downs syndrome zombie vampires?) for character as laid out in the latter were poor. So, David’s shooting 50%. Will Eclipse make it 66.3? Will the angst-ridden glares ever cease? Will the sparklies be upgraded?

You only have about a year and a half to wait.

* ( ” Deseret Book- I purchased Twilight under the assumption it was about the trials of the pioneers or at the very least a biography on a well known Church leader but I was shocked, SHOCKED to find a sordid tale about spooning and hormonal vampires. To combat this evil influence, I burned the book immediately and hummed a hymn in my head. Spooning and hormonal vampires, I’ll have you know, are not at all in line with the standards I’ve come to expect from Deseret Book. I will now boycott your store and am forwarding this email to all my Facebook friends, encouraging them to do the same, which they probably will– right after returning from their “I love Edward Cullen” needlepoint Homemaking Meeting. Sincerely- Mrs. R. Amey Umptum”)