You know how tales are told of people puking and having the runs at the same time? Yeah, well that’s never happened to me. Thank the Lord for that. On the other hand, after watching this Saturday Night Live Digital Short from The Lonely Island (Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, Andy Samberg), called “Jack Sparrow,” I peed a little in my pajama jeans and shot Red Bull, a.k.a The Precious, out of my nose. I think The Lonely Island, particularly Andy Samberg, is hilarious, but Michael Bolton’s performance is what knocks this out of the park. This easily is my favorite, and that’s saying a lot because I gave hearty applause to both “D**k in a Box” and “Iran So Far Away.” At any rate, give it a watch below and grab your adult diapers…you’re going to need them.