Shrek Forever After and The Runaways? Nothing in common.

Still, we’re debuting the Shrek Forever After trailer here at AATM, which morally requires an attempt to salvage a shred of my dignity and self respect. So hey! You’re the winner with a two-for-one! Or a half-loser. Your call.

First up, Shrek Please End This Forever After you’ve wrung this sucker dry. I’ll cop to the fact Shrek Uno had sassy originality when it debuted with its “look at me I’m funny and pop-savvy” send up of Disney, but the second quickly became leftover meatloaf and the  third… well, lessons learned.  Face it– farting Ogre/Talking Donkey movies are what went wrong with the cheap pop-culture gag narrative that was all in vogue with this decade’s CG animation. And critically acclaimed/box office success or not (Er, Wild Hogs was a box office success), the Shrek series is the runny nose and sore throat of animation, one which is finally losing contagion thanks to the antibiotic of monotony.

Whew. Since that’s off my chest, here’s the trailer for Shrek‘s the “final chapter” which “reboots” in Shrek Bizarro World- a land where the tired jokes can be replayed because all our heroes never met. Shrek fans, clap your hands with glee and mark your calendar for a cinematic lobotomy on May 2010.

The Runaways, on the other hand, finally reveals the secret behind Kristin Stewart’s oft-questioned man-mane. She’s Joan Jett! And angry! And edgy! Premiering at Sundance in just a few short weeks, The Runaways follows the a typical rock’n’ rise and fall, but this time it’s the all-girl punk rockers of the same name. The Runaways is heavily anticipated as Kristen Stewart will “finally” flex some thespian chops and prove she’s better than that dumb, mopey Bella Swan. Dakota Fanning also stars as The Runaways lead singer Cherie Currie, so you can damn well expect some emotin’.

The trailer reveals angry girls rocking, cherry bombing, pioneering hairstyles men would adopt a few years later and, overall, doing the late 70’s proud.