Listen, I’m no bully. I’m a nice guy. I love pretty much everyone (except for guys the farmer blow in the gym showers and the old grandpas at the gym who give me a hearty dose of Lord Sauron’s redeye whilst bending over two inches from my face as I tie my shoes). I would never bully a grandma riding the bus, or leave YouTube comments telling people to go kill themselves. Never ever. But in the case of this …
Tag: twilight
Ever wondered what Edward & Bella’s half-vampire, half-human little girl, Renesmee (WTF!), would look like? I know I sure did and now I know! Below is the first-ever image of Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy) from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, which hits theaters on November 16, 2012. One thing is certain: Edward and Bella’s love of hanging out in flowering meadows is definitely genetic.
Am I the only person in America who doesn’t see the appeal of Amanda Seyfried? I didn’t see Mamma Mia! (thank the LORD), so maybe I’m missing some perspective that is vital in my critique, but I have seen Jennifer’s Body and I wasn’t that impressed. Either way, I’m getting ahead of myself. Who is not as important as what in the case of the upcoming horror movie Red Riding Hood, helmed by Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. Honestly, upon seeing …
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse got a brand new trailer today – unveiled on Oprah – and while there isn’t any “I’ll fight for you until your heart stops beating” lines of love from six-packed lycans, there are certainly enough WTF moments to cause the Twitarded folks to scratch their heads and drool, which means there is enough nerd candy for the Twihards to suck on until June 30. I count myself, luckily, as Twilight illiterate, so I honestly had no …
I’m not a fan of The Twilight Saga, but this poster blows. I know, I know. I sound surprised. I’m not, but if I was a fan, I’d be disappointed. Plus, am I the only one who can’t figure out why Bella isn’t picking Jacob over Edward? I mean, just from the poster wouldn’t you go with the dependable hunk over the pasty-skinned, brooding vampire who is always running away? Seems clear to me, but then girls generally like the …
Twilight is what it is: Love it, hate it or care less. I don’t begrudge anyone their love for the series, but tend to hold coats in the “care less” line. The new trailer for the latest entry (directed by 30 Days of Night‘s David Slade and chomping at the bit for its June 30 release) doesn’t help, considering it could have easily been used for last year’s New Moon. Has such a simple story ever felt like its climax …
I realize it’s easy and popular to bash the Twihards, Stephanie Meyer’s craptastic writing and the whole fabric of the Twilight universe, but while I poke fun at the fanbase (divided equally between cougars and those who just bought training bras), I do think some people tend to bash the movies and books simply because of the mass appeal. However, with that said, when I see Twilight fans sending ignorant hate mail, it just makes me want to mock them …
I haven’t read one word of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, but I have seen the movies and they’re nothing special. I have read two pages of Meyer’s novel, The Host, and I thought it was absolute poop. Not just poop, in fact, but cat poop, which is the worst. At any rate, I’m not going to start banging the I-Hate-Twilight drum, because I also refuse to jump on it’s sibling, the I-Dry-Hump-Twilight bandwagon. I prefer to stay Switzerland on this …
Leave it to the folks at FunnyorDie.com to make the funniest Twilight spoof on the web. I shot Mountain Dew Code Red out my nose while watching this clip starring Brandon Routh (Superman Returns) and Martha Macisaac (Superbad).