Sure, you’ve seen the trailer where Mother Earth douches the White House, throws a primeval tantrum all over LA and hocks smoking lugies into Yellowstone’s face. But none of that compares to the funky, smooth retro you’ll see in this gem of a gloriously cut and scored trailer for 2012. It’ll take you back to Earthquake, The Towering Inferno and Airport and tuck you in with a pessimistic kiss and a warm glass of milky mayhem. It’ll also assure that …

So, according to the Mayans, the poop is going to hit the fan for good on December 21, 2012 and everybody on Earth is going to get flushed down the giant doomsday toilet via some terrible catastrophe. What the Mayans didn’t predict is that director Roland Emmerich would get a second shot at a punch-the-earth-in-the-soft-parts movie after his “The Day After Tomorrow” was a critical and box office failure in 2004. No offense to Emmerich, but he hasn’t made anything …