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Movie Review: Limitless (B)

I hate Bradley Cooper. I really do. Why, you might ask? Oh, I won’t beat around the bush at all. I hate him because he’s a handsome bastard and makes all the ladies go gaga. I’m 36, rock the love handles and my hair is turning grey, while Mr. Cooper is 36, svelte, has a hairdo that reminds Pat Riley of the golden years, and is one of only a handful of men who can routinely not shave and still look

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Larry Crowne Trailer Makes Me Smile

Amongst all the talk of nuclear reactor meltdowns, earthquakes, tsunamis and civil war in Libya, a trailer for this summer’s Larry Crowne hit the web yesterday, and I have to admit, I’m sold. Maybe a leprachaun spiked my Red Bull, or maybe it’s the bright blue skies hanging over Northern Utah today, but I doubt it. It would seem the chemistry and the comedy shared between Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks shines through full-force in this romantic dramedy, which is also

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Happy Wednesday to ME! Beckinsale in Black Leather!

The Underworld series of vampire vs. lycans movies are high on my list of guilty-pleasure cinema and a big reason for that pleasure comes from the oh-so-sexy Kate Beckinsale and the way she busts caps into werewolf booty whilst wearing tight black leather. I don’t go gaga over many Hollywood actresses, but Beckinsale is definitely one that makes my pulse quicken. The picture below is from the latest installment of The Underworld franchise (the last was Underworld: Rise of the

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Bridesmaids Trailer = The Hangover, but with Chicks!

This is the first time I’ve seen or heard anything about the upcoming (May 13, 2011) comedy, Bridesmaids, and odds are this movie will blow six ways from Sunday, but I’m holding out hope this flick will make me laugh as much as the trailer did. This looks like the chick version of The Hangover. I suppose it was only a matter of time before the soulless, unimaginative drones in Hollywood belched out a concept like Bridesmaids. Still, I cling

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What in the Name of Zeus’ Butthole?! Clash Moves to Avoid Katniss!

Just how popular are The Hunger Games novels and how explosive will The Hunger Games movie be? Just ask the folks behind Wrath of the Titans, the Clash of the Titans sequel due to hit theaters the same weekend – March 23, 2012 – as Katniss and Co. Wrath of the Titans saw the formidable fan base and hysteria surrounding The Hunger Games and smartly stepped out of the way, moving its swords and sandals mythology a week later, to

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Trailer Tuesday: Conan the Barbarian

I never saw the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger version of Conan the Barbarian. My parents thought the R-rated sword and sorcery flick was a little too violent and a little too boobtastic for my eight year-old eyes. I did, however, see Conan the Destroyer in 1984, but that was PG and had been re-cut by director Richard Fleischer so it could secure the more kid and teen friendly rating. Too bad all those young people can’t exorcise the image of Grace

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Smurfs Trailer Causes Man To Punch Own Privates

And that man would be me. Yes, I just gave myself a straight uppercut to Manland. Now, not only am I singing alto, but my childhood memories of The Smurfs are tainted by the kind of lifeless CGI, poop and fart humor and unintelligent swings at pop culture that made Alvin and The Chipmunks the first movie in history to almost singlehandedly usher in the second coming of Jesus. Considering it’s almost 2012, The Smurfs movie just might be the final nudge we

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Is Hillbilly Hottie Jennifer Lawrence Cast as Katniss Everdeen?

Fans of The Hunger Games are going cuckoo at the news that Lionsgate Studios and director Gary Ross have cast Oscar-nominee Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone) as the badass babe from District 12, Katniss Everdeen. Now, when contacted by MTV News, Lionsgate denied no such offers have been made to Ms. Lawrence, but sources say the news is reliable and the 20 year-old actress, soon to be seen as Mystique in X-Men: First Class, is the exact mix of beauty and

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Movie Review: Red Riding Hood (C)

I want to hate Red Riding Hood in the worst way. I really do. I want to pounce on director Catherine Hardwicke’s film and pummel it with accusations of zero creativity and kick it with the judgmental boot of milking the Twilight crowd for all they’re worth, but I just can’t muster the malice to point an accusing finger, mostly because I never found myself checking my watch during the 120 minute nouveau retelling of the classic Brothers Grimm folk tale. Trust

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Movie Review – Battle: Los Angeles (D)

I don’t know a lot, but I do know that alien movies and military flicks are usually nothing short of awesome, so how a movie that is heavy on both, with a meaty middle of explosions and bullets to boot, turns out so painstakingly dull, lifeless and downright boring has got me scratching my head and shaking my fist. Curse you Battle: Los Angeles! You were supposed to be my unofficial cinema start of summer, but now you’re nothing more

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