While the motto for the first 30 years of my life could easily be described as “Live for today because the nukes are coming tomorrow”, the motto of my last four years would probably be “Vampires are dumb”. I know I’m in the minority here but I’m pretty sure that somewhere around 1987, scientific research did indeed show that vampires, with their crazy eyes and pointy-toothed hissing preferences, were somewhere around 93% lame.

So hey, imagine my surprise when I found the premise and trailer for the genre-vampire* film Daybreakers to be kind of rad. Sure, there’s still the whole crazy eyes/pointy teeth angle, but the idea of a spiritual sequel to Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend (the novella, not the depressingly dumbed down movie), with a vampiric society running out of options feels all kinds of right… except for the batty man-creature reveal about midway through. It was lame in Francis For Coppola’s Dracula, it was lame in Underworld and it’s lame here.

Still, silly bat-folk didn’t stop me from overcoming built-in cynicism and with always off-center Willem Dafoe brandishing crossbows and most people wishing they could share loins with vampires that may or may not sparkle, what’s not to like?

*Blue palettes, guns and action. Underwold, look what thou hast wrought!