Movie Review – The Twilight Saga: New Moon (C+)

The tidal wave of New Moon hysteria hit early this morning as thousands of women of all ages, along with 25 guys, streamed into screenings starting at midnight, all hoping the second film in The Twilight Saga would be as tasty or better than last year’s Twilight. Judging by the squeals and the oohs and the ahhs, I’d say 99 percent of the audience was satiated with enough gooey Edward and Bella romance to last until June 2010 when The

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Movie Review (Dan’s Take): The Twilight Saga: New Moon (B-)

So now might be time to relinquish my right to continue as a bear wrestling, hairy chested, card carrying male. I unapologetically enjoyed New Moon… all in spite of itself. Qualified: “enjoyed” doesn’t mean squealing, wooing, heart-stopping delight, but rather pleasant surprise at Chris Weitz’ relatively true handle on overwrought teen angst and the brief action beats that break it up.  In short, Weitz directs a film that, despite a ploddingly joyless eternal love between vampire Edward and heroine Bella

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Movie Review (Dan’s Take): The Blind Side (B-)

The Blind Side, the true life story of a wandering “orphan” taken in by a wealthy Tennessee family, works on the premise of clever subterfuge. The film is being marketed as a rags-to-riches sports success tale, but ultimately, it’s not that as much as it is a dollop of inspirational suggestion on matters of humanity, economic responsibility and showing a “blind side” to race; all in a football slicked shell. Director John Lee Hancock’s (The Rookie) adaptation of the book

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Movie Review: 2012 (D)

I’m not going to waste your time or space on AATM with an elaborate review of 2012. All you need to know is Roland Emmerich continues his 13 year end-of-the-word-destruction fetish, this time linking the end of the Mayan long count calendar on December 21, 2012, to solar flares and aligned planets that spell sayonara to Mother Earth via earthquakes, volcanoes and massive tsunamis.  And, in the end, this almost three-hour movie has nothing to offer but a few mildly

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Movie Review: The Fourth Kind (C+)

I won’t lie: Back in September when I watched the trailer for The Fourth Kind (and posted it for Trailer Tuesday), my man parts shrunk and I had to do the All-Bran 10 Day Challenge just to cleanse myself from the measure of scariness the short preview walloped on my psyche. Frankly, I was a little perplexed, because I generally find the whole aliens and alien abduction conversation completely and unequivocally ridiculous. I’m sure my alien atheism probably will piss

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Disney’s A Christmas Carol (Dan’s Take): B-

Director Robert Zemeckis has a lot to live up to. His motion capture adaptation of the perennial holiday ghost story A Christmas Carol has 150 years of being realized, re-born and re-interpreted again and again. If you’ve been alive at any point since 1843, you probably have your favorite iteration, ranging from the original publication to the stage plays to the 1951 film classic (winner!). It’s clear Robert Zemeckis realized this when he approached his wowie tech version of A

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Movie Review: Paranormal Activity (A-)

Forget aliens, vampires, and werewolves. Screw zombies and gremlins. And don’t even think about Nessie, Bigfoot or Freddy Krueger; Paranormal Activity scares the crap out of viewers by asking the simple and uncomfortable question: What happens when you sleep? One thing is for certain, after watching this movie last weekend in a theater packed with squealing girls and laughing dudes, not much happens when I sleep. Because I don’t anymore. I’m too busy looking for demons that are going to

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Movie Review: Where the Wild Things Are (A-)

Maurice Sendak’s beloved children’s book, Where the Wild Things Are, published in 1963 and awarded the Caldecott Medal in 1964, is comprised of ten sentences and follows a misbehaving boy’s imaginary journey to a mysterious land where the inhabitants look like a mishmash of birds, trolls, bulls and humans. I would submit there are not many adults or kids who haven’t read Sendak’s masterpiece, but the question I’ve always had is how do you turn a narrative so small, yet

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Couples Retreat Movie Review (C)

Let’s be frank right from the start: Couples Retreat is the kind of movie you can appreciate and enjoy when you’re sitting in the drive-thru at McDonald’s wondering what one dollar Redbox rental will go nicely with your Double Quarter Pounder, pound of fries and cattle trough-sized soda. It’s not a terrible show and has a few funny bits, but its best digested with no expectations, and also while inebriated with sugar and cholesterol. The tragedy of Couples Retreat is

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Move Review–Dan: A Serious Man (C)

The Coen brothers can be obtuse filmmakers: operating as if to apply their master’s touch on mainstream films solely for building the studio goodwill needed to produce the films they’re really interested in making. Such is the case with A Serious Man. It’s not mainstream. It’s not even midstream. Critics will love it, but the general audience won’t see it and those who do will find it totally, inaccessibly boring. Which doesn’t mean it’s bad- it just means A Serious

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