So I finished playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II last night, and despite some ho-hum reviews of the game, I was reminded how awesome Star Wars is when George Lucas isn’t sticking his silly, emotionless, underwhelming hands into every nook and cranny of the universe he started back in 1977. Finishing the Starkiller saga reminded me how excited I was at the news of a prequel trilogy and how badly I wanted to embrace them as the new hotness …
Category: Cranky Monday
There’s something loathsome about about the fabricated “family” films major studios putting out. You know the kind– dumbed down to oblivion, they feel like vapid, assembly lined back door attempts to make kids stupid. At once I feel guilty for saying that (they’re for kids, not me) and also right on target. Movies like Alvin and the Chipmunks, Aliens in the Attic, Bedtime Stories, Daddy Day Care, The Pacifier, etc. always deliver a lesson to be learned, but audiences of …
Do you know who Pete Hammond is? You probably don’t recognize his picture and he probably looks like he could be your accountant or possibly the manager of your local grocery store. But you do in fact know Pete Hammond because his syrupy, gag-me-with-a-spoon movie review blurbs are plastered over posters, ads and trailers for movies all the time. That might seem like jealousy, but trust me, it’s not. Since his days at Maxim, to his current writing for BoxOffice …
Don’t get me wrong. Taiwan is rad. SO rad. Not only rad enough that the U.S. would go to fisticuffs with China over it, but rad enough the Avatar campaign bus has just dropped off a load of new footage at their Yahoo! site. The appetite-whetting footage is found in yet another featurette that, if you’re not already aware, pretty much lays out the whole story. The best part? You can understand the whole thing because it’s all in English. …
If you get out your cell phone after the lights have dimmed in a movie theater and text or talk, you are a bad mannered jackass. If you think the movie is your own personal Mystery Science Theater 3000 and you chit chat through the previews and throughout the movie, you should have the letter D branded in your forehead, because you are a douche. I know, I know. Call me an old-fashioned curmudgeon, but I believe in a code …
“Vampires are lame. LAME.” That’s a mantra around here and one, if we’re being honest, one more people should live by. With it, we’d be free of the embarrassingly self-titled Twihards, Victorian vampire lovers (I’m looking at you pale Goth guy/girl with the black buckles and straps) and the Downs Syndrome “please don’t scream again because I don’t like punching myself in the face” screechers from 30 Days of Night. All the unhealthy life-longing and self-loathing could then be channeled …
1999 was the year the world almost came to an end thanks to the number 19 and the year 2k, but the world ushered in the Willenium anyway. It was also the year The Blair Witch Project became the movie phenomenon of last decade. Naturally, the guys behind Blair Witch see the this decade’s movie phenomenon Paranormal Activity and are a little pouty, despite the fact they didn’t want to be attached to endless sequels and therefore walked away from …